God is so Good...!

Hi Everyone,

Sorry to be so longwinded, but here it goes...

I have to admit that I have been really down lately. Praying has been so hard the last few months because I feel like a broken record. "Please God. Please let the paperwork be done soon. Please let us get the money that we need to pull this thing off." I entered this Adoption with the knowledge that we just didn't have the funds necessary to do it. We had been preparing for it, but we totally underestimated just how overwhelmingly draining this would be... both emotionally and financially.

Back in April when we found out that children from Ethiopia were coming here for the Gladney camp, we met with some of the members of a neighboring church that were already committed to adopting some of the children. They wanted us to come and talk to them about it and see if we were interested. In the back of my mind, I was thinking that this was crazy, and definately not possible. Renee was so excited, and I was feeling really sad knowing that I would have to break her heart again by saying no. We just can't afford this now. It's just not possible.

We listened to what these wonderful people had to say, and it all sounded really great. And to add the icing on the cake... We had to make a decision by tomorrow!?!? What? One day to decide something SO important? There's just no way that this is possible. We left there that night and talked about it, both of us admitting that there was one boy that we were drawn to. Both of us were drawn to a boy named "Henok".

Renee asked me on the way home what I thought about it all. She was ready to jump in right then and say YES!. I just kept feeling that this just wasn't possible. She agreed I was right, and didn't give me too hard of a time about it. However, she asked me to pray about it and see what Gods will was. Laying it all down and letting God decide has never been one of my strong points. I always let my 'logic' take over. Far to many times in my life I have ignored the call that God was placing before me in favor of my 'reasoning'. That night I tossed and turned praying to God to lead me where he wants me to go. But still I asked God, "How is this possible?" We just don't have the money to do this. I finally drifted off to sleep very late.

The next morning on the way to work, I prayed and prayed that God would guide me in this decision, and I kept asking God just how we could fund an adoption at this time. Once I got to work, I furiously scoured passages in the Bible to find some sense of Gods will for this. I had almost given up when I opened the bible that morning at the office one last time before finally getting to work. It was Gods hand that guided me to the passage that was before me. There was no mistaking His Words. I opened the bible and was brought directly to Mark 9:23.

My question was "How is this possible?" Gods answer was clear. Jesus said, "Everything is possible for him who believes." Ok God. I understand what you're asking of me. I'll just be obedient to this call, and you'll take care of the rest. I called Renee immediately and told her that we needed to adopt this little boy. She was VERY happy to say the least. We both agreed then that we would sit back and watch God amaze us with his generosity and faithfulness...

Up until last Thursday, I hadn't prayed in over two weeks. I was feeling really down and questioning whether or not I made the right decision to go forward with this adoption. I was feeling like I put us in a really bad financial situation, and was worrying how we were going to get the rest of the money together. I confided in Renee about my prayer problems, and she was insistant that I pray immediately for Gods guidance. Still, in my weakness, I couldn't pray.

Friday morning on the way to work I broke down. I asked God to forgive my doubt and to restore my faith. The prayer seemed to come so effortlessly. I reaffirmed my faith that somehow, someway, God would make this adoption happen and that HE would take care of the funding. He said he would do it. I believed it then, and I believe it now.

I got an email Friday morning from Gladney after I got to work that we were awarded a $2000 grant from the Ashenafi's Gift organization...... God is so Good! Even in my faithlessness, He shows me just how faithful He is, and reminds me that He keeps His word.

Needless to say, I have a renewed sense that we made the right decision. We chose to be obedient to the call of God even when it didn't make any sense to us. Now I pray each day that I can be that faithful in all the parts of my life.

Matthew